Grandchildren Quotes Make My Day
Get the Sword out of my Butt!
Jonathan came running into the house to his mother yelling, “Get the sword out of my butt!” Turns out it was a splinter.
What were you thinking?
I was driving down the road with my three year old granddaughter in the back seat. I started talking to myself out loud. Alyssa asked, “what did you say?” I replied, “Nothing baby, I was talking to myself.” It was quiet for several minutes. Then suddenly Alyssa says, “Maaannn, I wish I could think of something to tell MYself!”
Be Careful What You Ask For!
Parker was misbehaving during a meeting. When they returned home, his mother asked him, “what did you do wrong at the meeting, Parker?” He replied, “I climbed on the tables and ran around.” Kim, his mother, asked, “what do you think we should do about that?” Parker thought for a moment and said, “spank me.” Kim said, “ok, come here.” Immediately Parker says, “oh no, I mean you should make me stand in the corner-not spank me!”
Funny Children in Church
These funny stories were sent in:
Little Boy in Wedding
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”
“Pray for Me!”
One Sunday in a Midwest City , a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”
A Four Year Old Prayer Translation
One particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
I’m Happy With Who I Am
A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”
Shhhhh
A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
A Bible Story
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice he answered, “It’s Adam ’s suit”.
Safe in Church?
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?”
Hush
Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old brother, Joel , were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
Analogy
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.
Which Virgin?
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.. Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin ?”
The Tenth Commandment
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,”Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor’s wife.”
What Kids Say:
My four year old grandson just started playing soccer for the first time. It was pretty obvious right away that he wasn’t going to college on a soccer scholarship. He would run alongside the kids and sometimes kick the ball if it happened to cross his path. When his mother asked why he didn’t kick the ball away from the other kids, he said in his little meek voice, “I can’t take their ball away. That wouldn’t be nice.” See, they are listening!
Ms. Linda
More Grandchildren Quotes to come
